Adventures in Atlanta

Chapter 1

It was an early morning yesterday, waking up for a 6:00 a.m. flight. I was heading to the Hilton in downtown Atlanta, Georgia! I was a little out of it... they had to page me to the airplane! I was just sitting there, oblivious, chatting away with my sister on the phone. Suddenly, "They're paging me! I've gotta go."

I get on the plane. No seat "8F." Hm. Well, I just sat elsewhere since the plane wasn't full.


Chapter 2

An interesting young lady was sitting ahead of me. Let's call her the "P" lady. First, she was reading her Catholic Prayer Book. Note the "P" in Prayer. Wow, she's religious. Maybe she's a nun. Next, she decided it was time to eat breakfast. It was Peas. "What an odd choice for 6:00 in the morning," I thought. Then she took out her book. It was, ready for this? "War and Peace." It was all flagged with Post It Notes, so, I figured she was either in University, or she was a nun. A health food nun. On the way out, she said to the stewardess, "God bless you!" which appeared to make the stewardess' day.


Chapter 3

In Minneapolis I had to transfer planes. There were three leaving for Atlanta. I picked the Northwest plane. Or so I thought. Again, no seat "8F." Well, I had already figured out the first time I used the wrong boarding pass to determine my plane...

They had been announcing all kinds of strange things during boarding. "This plane boarding to Cincinatti." Then she came on and said, "Oh, have I been saying Cincinatti? Ha Ha! I meant, "Atlanta, Georgia."

She never did announce anyone over "E", and in the end she said, "Anyone with a special seat request can now come forward."

I, the ignorant Canadian tourist, said, "I'm sorry. I don't understand what you are announcing. My row doesn't seem to have been called."

"Let me see your ticket." She grabbed it and said, rather irritated, "You can board."

So, here I am, no "Seat F." I knew this was the right boarding pass this time, so I went to the front and said, "There is no "Seat 8F."

She stares at it and agrees with me. Then it dawns on her. "You flew with Northwest??!! Did you fly with Northwest?!" (cardinal sin I had to admit "yes.")This is a different airline! You have to get off this plane right now!"

As I left, she informed me that the other plane leaves at the same time. I asked if they could phone them to alert them of the situation. I asked three of them. They all ignored me, passed me on to the next person, or said no.

I ran through the terminal like a crazy woman, sweating profusely, wearing high heels, thinking, "If I don't make it, this will be very aggravating." My feet still hurt.

Anyways, I whipped by a Northwest terminal and said, "Please call "G22" and tell them I'm on my way."

"Okay, but they don't hold the planes!"

"I can make it, I shouted as I breezed by."

As I ran up to gate G22, wheezing, they smiled and said, "Michelle Porter?"

"Yes!"

"You are just in time!"

As I hustled up the ramp, a man came out of the hatch and said, "Whoa. Slow down!"

Ha. What a site I must have been.

Now, Dane, our District Vice President, assures me that women do not "sweat." They "glow." I retorted, "Yes, I was glowing. LIKE THE SUN."

So, there I was. On a plane to Georgia, radiating, oh, I mean, glowing, thinking, I should have just stayed on the other plane. I would not be panting and grossly dripping wet right now, and I'd end up in the same place. Of course, to add more to the chaos, my new laptop bag wouldn't fit under my seat. I shoved it under my neighbour's seat but that was obviuosly not going to work. I had to get them to put it up for me, etc. etc.

Interesting couple beside me. They were old... so, they were either newlyweds, having an affair, or had recently been through a life changing near-death experience. They were all over each other! Personally not one for PDA's (public display of affection) I kept my nose buried in my Fast Company Magazine.

Don't get me wrong. They were very nice. She was even willing to try sitting there two hours with no abilitiy to stretch her legs due to my bag.

They were very romantic. Which I am not.


Chapter 4

Someone might have warned me the Georgia Airport was the LARGEST IN THE U.S.A. and maybe the world!!! I got off, very dazed and confused. I'm a fairly well seasoned traveller, and even if not, I don't get rattled very easily. However, I felt like a bit of a lost puppy. There were humongous crowds of people all around me. I followed the arrows to the baggage claim. A huge sign loomed, "Baggage Claim: 5000 feet."

Hm. That sounds like a lot. I don't really know, but since they posted it, I'm going to assume it's a far way. By this point my dresss shoes, previously used as running shoes in Minneapolis, were taking their toll. So, I climbed on the tram. "Please hang on." I did, and then saw this man, panicking when an older woman did not hang on. He didn't even know her. She finally started hanging on and "Whoosh!" This Disney ride contraption just jolted all of us out of our places!

I got off the tram and wandered to the baggage claim. Where are all these people from? Suddenly a very long processional of soldiers came parading by. They had just returned home and everyone stood at attention and began to clap for them. It was very touching. Some of them were quite young. Not realizing they were turning right where I was standing, the man leading them shouted to me, "Look out. Move Move!" Ha! Stupid Canadian.

So, getting your luggage in the Hartsfield-Jackson Atlanta International Airport in no small feat. First, you have to read the Arrivals List. Not a big deal. There are only 6 carosels to choose from... However, my flight number and plane arrival said my luggage could be found at carosel 99. Oh, what next. I walk around, reading all the signs at all 6 carosels. Each of them list several flights. I can't tell which might be mine.

I asked a man, "Do you work here?" He said Yes so I checked with him. "Oh, did you fly with TransAir?" "No." "I can't help you then."

I wandered to the front area and asked another person. "Well, I have never heard of this. Are you sure it said 99?" I told him I had checked three times. He told me to ask the lady at the desk. Raising my voice ever so slightly, I said, "There's no one at the desk!" There were three people around the desk, but they were just hanging out waiting for luggage, as I was. It was the comedy hour and I was the star. He pointed me to the Information Office a few doors down.

I walked over and they had no idea. "Just stand by one and hopefully you'll get lucky." So, I did! And then the belt stopped working. So I stood. And I stood. I'm still standing here. So, I'll have to get back to ya'll later.